The 2020 Senior Perspectives is the 15th in a series of annual collections. Senior captains and representatives of teams at Harvard have been invited to contribute viewpoints based on personal experience from both their senior seasons and full varsity careers at Harvard.

Clara Cousins
Hometown: Lincoln, Mass.
Comcentration: Chemical and Physical Biology
House Affiliation: Cabot

I had always imagined that the finish-line push of my last college race would feel monumental. But as I rounded the last hairpin turn, all I can remember is that it was really hard to breath. I was coughing, gasping, tilting my chin forward and upward, trying to pull bitter, numbing, gray air down my throat and into my exhausted lungs. And the truth is, this is how most of my races finish. I leaned over my poles, moved my sunglasses from my eyes, and my whole world was washed out with white. This time, however, I didn't rush to blink. I didn't rush to take my bib off and hand it to the approaching volunteer. I let warm tears swell and break apart on my face. Then I was laughing, and my teammate of four years was throwing her arms around my own and our two race bibs were touching.

Looking back, it wasn't just that last finish, it was the whole routine – the 4:45 p.m. interstate traffic, the roadside huddles with wary eyes on car mirrors, whipping wind on the opening van door, the slush, hardpack, or sometimes silky smooth powder of Weston's snowmaking, ducking for cover from flying protein bars, the face-cramping laughter of van banter – that happened too quickly for me to realize the importance of it all. These moments, the ones that I became used to without any second thought, ultimately defined for me a community and shared experience that became arguably more energizing and motivating than anything else in life.

I am so grateful to Harvard Skiing for the opportunity to learn the value of community through a team and for the chance to build my character from sharing experiences with others. Resilience, cooperation, leadership, dedication – these are the qualities I have drawn from the people of Harvard Skiing before I could even realize it. To the current racers, know that the moments you have together to dig deep, to help one another, to focus, and just to laugh are building your community and energizing each other. And when you round the finishing straight at your own last race, I hope you can remember to look up, because people will be cheering.