"The 2020 Senior Perspectives is the 15th in a series of annual collections. Senior captains and representatives of teams at Harvard have been invited to contribute viewpoints based on personal experience from both their senior seasons and full varsity careers at Harvard."

Kaeo Kruse
Hometown: Kalaheo, Hawaii
Concentration: Human Evolutionary Biology
House Affiliation: Currier

            When looking back on my time with the Harvard XC/Track & Field team, I can't help but smile when recalling all the amazing memories I've had the privilege to make. Some of these memories include the achievements you usually hear about in newsletters, such as when our men's and women's cross country teams both won the Northeast regional in a dominant fashion, or when our men's track & field team scored the most points we ever have at HEPS since 1985. However, as rewarding as these experiences are, what I will cherish most from my time in Cambridge are the experiences that made up the time between these highlights as well as the lessons that I learned along the way.
 
            Success in our sport is largely defined by our performances at meets and, thus, our careers as athletes are lived through these relatively small moments in time. However, in reality, what makes cross country and track & field so special are the moments that lead to these performances in the first place. Most people don't get to see the countless miles put in along the Charles River or the post-workout cross-training sessions. They won't see the heartbreak of getting injured and the courage it takes to come back even stronger. The satisfaction of working with your teammates to pursue something bigger than yourself and the laughter and joy that comes with doing so. However, these are the moments that have undoubtedly helped me to become not only a better athlete, but a better person.
 
            When I first arrived at Harvard, I, along with most incoming first-year students, thought that I had everything figured out. I knew that things were not going to come easy, but, with hard work, I believed that things were going to fall into place the way that I expected. Given my fairly linear progression in high school, I thought that if I just continued with a solid work ethic then I would eventually reach my admittedly lofty goal of becoming a multiple-time All-American by the time I graduated. Little did I know, there was a crazy ride that laid ahead of me. Over the next three and a half years, I battled with multiple injuries for the first time in my sporting career, struggled with competing against a vastly more competitive field of athletes than what I was use to back home, and had to learn how to manage not living up to my own high expectations.
 
            Although there were definitely some considerably rough times – it is difficult to put into words the feeling you get when you're cycling on a stationary bike while watching your teammates leave to warm up for a workout without you – I learned many valuable lessons about myself along the way that I would not have encountered otherwise. I learned that progression does not have a timeline or a set course. I learned to truly focus on the process and appreciate every opportunity for what it is worth. I learned that I run to push my limits and become the best version of myself. However, most of all, I learned that I would not have been able to learn any these things without the help of my teammates.
 
            My teammates have been with me through all the highs and lows and I would not have wanted it any other way. From team game nights to teasing each other on maintenance runs to late dinners in Dunster to suffering with each other in workouts, these are the moments I will most fondly remember many years after I receive my diploma. Although I'm unsure about how my athletic career will turn out in the end, I can be sure that my best friends will be there with me every step of the way.